why didn't you poke me back
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
