u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I stole a fireplace last night.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
