whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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