She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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