he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
