i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I don't deserve a penis
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
