I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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