Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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