we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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