pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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