I wannas sexs uuuuu
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
