I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize