Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
