Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
