Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
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OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.