At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
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I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week