Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I cockslap morals
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops