she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth