so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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