I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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