He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
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I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
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Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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