Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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