I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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