The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
