I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
