I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
