Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
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you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
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So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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