Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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