I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
