Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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