we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
