based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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