sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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