my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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