i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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