then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
