im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
