We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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