So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
