my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
