i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
