so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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