omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
