i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
