if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
