bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
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So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
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I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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