Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
