you guys were way drunker than both of me
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
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His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
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So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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