But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
ttyl tear gas
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
