my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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