Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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