haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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