how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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