So drunk its hurt
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
