I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize