I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
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We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
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I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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