Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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